Emily > 8
This fellow foster/adoptive mama friend is a Challenger. Enneagram 8s are strong, assertive, and willing to fight injustice. Enjoy Emily and all the ways she inspires.
When did you first hear about the Enneagram?
The first time I remember hearing about the Enneagram was from a roommate in college. It was my senior year, so 2011.
Was it easy to identify your number? What stuck out as an obvious descriptor? It was easy to identify myself as an 8; however, I spent some time trying to convince myself that I wasn’t an 8. Having to admit that kind of vulnerability was difficult for me... Imagine that! 🤣 Honestly, the thing that stuck out the most was the basic fear: of being controlled. What do you love most about yourself? What challenges you the most as an 8? The thing I love most about myself if my ability and passion to stand up for the vulnerable. To use my assertiveness and power to lift others up. What challenges me the most as an 8 is being vulnerable with others. I have perfected the art of sharing just enough with others to let them think I’m being vulnerable but still holding back what is most sacred/scary/private. It is something that I have challenged myself to get better at, but it’s still easy for me to fall into. I still struggle with feeling that if others see “the real me”, they will leave- even though I know that’s crazy talk!
Talk about your 8ness in your profession & please explain what you do. Also, what did you want to be when you were a kid? I am a sexual assault victim advocate, so I work with sexual assault survivors through the criminal justice process. It fits my 8ness very well in that I have ample opportunity to lend my support and advocacy to those who are in a very vulnerable and scary time. Part of my job is to help others in the criminal justice system remember to stay victim-centered, so sometimes that involves having difficult conversations with people in power. My 8 courage comes in handy in those situations. As a little kid, I wanted to be a teacher. I think that was mostly because I liked to boss people though. Haha! Once I got a little older (like middle school), I knew that I wanted to work with children who needed help. I didn’t really know what specifically. As a fellow foster mama, how does your 8ness serve your children?
You better believe that I will flip tables on behalf of my babies. I will not rest if I see something that my daughters need that “the system” should be providing and isn’t. I certainly believe in partnership and grace and that is where I start when there’s something I want to see happen, but if we are dismissed or told “no” and I disagree with it, I’m not afraid to keep pushing. I hope and pray that my daughters know that I will fight for them every day of my life. That I will protect them and care for them. I am also teaching them not to shy away from conflict and not to see it as a bad thing. One of my daughter’s personality is similar to mine and I am empowering her to lead and showing her that she is NEVER TOO MUCH.
What does it look like moving into stress (5 space) and growth (2 space)?
When I am experiencing intense stress, I will isolate myself and turn inward instead of asking for help. I will give into the lie that no one cares or wants to help. There have been times in my life when I have really withdrawn from my family and friends (constantly canceling plans, etc) but still giving an outward show of “being fine”. (Although I know that those closest to me don’t buy it.) In growth, I see a lot of 2ness in myself. A desire to serve others and meet their needs, being more in touch with my own emotions. There was a time I thought I WAS a 2 (when I was in denial about being an 8).
About Emily
I’m a single foster (soon to be adoptive!) mama living in Manhattan, KS with my daughters (ages 10 & 11) and our doggo, Huck. I’m a K-State graduate with a major in Family Studies & Human Services. I realized my senior year that I should have done Social Work, but it’s all worked out! I’ve been a youth pastor, ran a before and after school program, worked in child welfare, and now I’m in victim advocacy. My all time favorite TV shows are The Office and The West Wing- I’ve seen both of them sooo many times. I love Jesus but feel like in a deconstruction/reconstruction of my faith in the last few years. The beach is my happy place- I got to take the girls for the first time this summer and it was absolutely magical.
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