Is Foster Care for You?
Nearly 4 years ago, we began inviting children into our home. I'm asked often how or why we pursued this path. Here's a blog from 2015 that I wrote explaining just that.
Awakened
Mr. Myer and I had an incredible discussion last night, March 5th, 2015. We were driving home from one of the most moving films I have ever witnessed: The Drop Box. In a season of life when we both so strongly desire a baby, our hearts were wretched. Our hearts broke with each child that was dropped off, abandoned, unwanted. This film, based in South Korea, seemed unbelievable, but how much worse does the United State treat unwanted life?
I wept.
Although the whole concept tore into our hearts, into our love for life-any life. The Drop Box focused on the rebirth, the purpose of the ministry and it was then that God laid a heavy, a deep burden on our hearts. We could do nothing but answer a call in obedience.
For several months, Mitch and I talked of adoption or possibly foster care. I thank God for our infertility because otherwise I do not know if we ever would have considered the idea.
Initially my selfish desires screamed,"But God, I want my own baby, I want my flesh and my blood. I do not desire a 'damaged' child."
How true it is that foster care is a broken system, full of broken people and hurt children. Alas, I come to the call- our duty.
Commanded Duty
In John 14, Jesus tell us that he WILL NOT abandon us as orphans, but will return for us.
"If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Yet a little while and the world will see me no more, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you. Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.” John 14:15-21
Over the last two months, we have weighed our options, and chosen to pursue this call whole-heartedly. TFI has been a phenomenal program to obtain our foster care training. In just a couple more weeks, we will be done. Our foster care worker is encouraging and so confident in our ability. I adore her positivity.
It is now that we wait on the Lord. We must relocate due to our home not having any other bedrooms. We ask for prayer. God led us to this point and I believe he will lead us through. As He always does.
After Thoughts
(from 2019 Chelsi)
I left my words from 2015 untouched because they are raw, they are vulnerable, and slightly embarrassing. There is a need around the topic of foster care to be honest, unmasked. Reading those words "damaged" break my heart now. Are we not all damaged, Chelsi? Are we not all broken and in desperate need of a Savior? The ignorance of calling children damaged feels as irresponsible as calling someone retarded. In case you have not heard, "damaged" and "retarded" are NOT okay to describe human beings. All people are made in the image of God, thus they are sacred and special. Jesus has taught me so much in His gospel. God has revealed my sin in the caring of children. Funny how parenting helps us see the deep hurt and desert land amidst our weary souls. We are master conspirators, hiding away our shame, sin, and our ugliest parts. These little humans we care for begin excavating parts of ourselves hidden away and I am forever grateful for that discovery for my own healing. Parenting can be redemptive work.
Please hear me, it is okay that I cringe at my previous blog post. If we do not cringe from time to time at past behaviors, are we not growing? I had a co-worker in my early twenties who adopted and I was fascinated. I asked many questions like, "That's amazing. Are you going to have any children of your own?" (insert cringe) Oh Chelsi, how insensitive, yet poignant this is now. People often ask us the same question. The point is rather than become annoyed or offended, I attempt to graciously offer proper vocabulary. ie."My children are my own. Do we hope to have any biological children?" It is okay to ask how people prefer to be described. Doing so humbly definitely helps.
Are you left with questions about foster care or another unknown subject area? Are you embarrassed to ask them or do you not know the respectful words to use? Please ask for clarification and ask forgiveness for your naivety. With that being said, I think I owe an old colleague an apology...
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