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  • Writer's pictureChelsi Myer

Lindsey > 2

Everyone had a tight collection of friends they clung to during childhood. Lindsey was one of those friends to me. She showed me Christ early on; Her boldness was so inspiring to 10 year old Chelsi. She loved people as well then as she loves now. Enjoy my Helper friend, Lindsey.

Share about when and where you first heard about the Enneagram.

During a play date two summers ago, one of my dearest friends brought the book, “The Road Back to You”. She specifically had the page opened to the section about spiritual transformation for 2’s. She had me read and see if I could relate. I had no idea what the Enneagram was, but since, I have grown to truly appreciate the incredible tool the Enneagram has been in my life.

Did you know you were a 2 right away? What telling description fit you.

I truly did, and to be honest, it is a love hate relationship at times. I had so many “ah ha” moments after reading the book and had several tears shed while reading the chapter about 2’s. I felt understood. I had no doubt that I was a 2 because I love to take care of and help others. My weaknesses were spot on as well, I was just unaware of them and how to express them.

How does your choice of profession fit you as a 2?

As a child I knew I wanted to be a nurse and take care of others. I walked around my great grandmothers’ nursing home visiting strangers, bringing them water, holding their hand, etc. I worked as a Labor and Delivery Nurse for 6 years, but the hospital hours and family life became tricky to balance. Now, I work as a Nurse Practitioner in a small town family practice clinic. I am really fortunate to take care of my own patients, and have enjoyed developing rapport and relationships with several families, even several generations of families. As rewarding as it is, it can also be emotionally exhausting, as I tend to take on the joys and sorrows of my patients and their circumstances. The amount of suffering I have witnessed is absolutely heartbreaking at times. I’m trying to find ways to leave work at work so I have the emotional capacity to go home and care for my husband and children. It’s a work in progress, but I am at least aware that it is beginning to get to me.

Talk about a challenging season of growth.

I think there is a quote in the book that says “Hell hath no fury like a 2 that is unappreciated”. Yikes, is this true.

My season of growth was when my husband was a new athletic director, coaching two sports, and a teacher on top of that. He was in a busy season of life, so my responsibilities at home felt overwhelming, especially while working and caring for an 18 month old toddler. Unhealthy 2’s have a tendency to feel like a martyr, become angry and resentful, and feel sorry for themselves. I was feeling all of those things towards my husband without him even being aware of it. I put unrealistic expectations on myself (I’m a wing 1) and wanted be the “perfect wife” and nearly drove myself into a burnout. I was doing everything I could manage, and expecting something in return without ever asking. Since, I have learned to ask for help and to verbalize what I need instead of expecting others to know what I need. My dear husband will occasionally ask what I need or what I’m feeling and half the time I still don’t know. Poor guy, Lord bless him for the effort.

P.S. The enneagram is a fantastic tool for marriage (aside from the Gospel)… We have grown so much and understand, respect, and love each other better than we ever have.

Has God revealed certain things about yourself through the Enneagram?

God revealed my codependency through the Enneagram. I did not realize it, but I placed such unrealistic expectations on my husband for so long. I found myself giving, giving, giving, and becoming resentful when my needs were not met. God has freed me from codependency and I have learned that my relationship with my Heavenly Father is first and foremost. I do not have to earn His love through service or deeds, am I loved just as I am. My husband appreciates that I am aware of this now and he desires for me to be healthy and independent.

2s often have a hard time naming their needs; can you name your needs?

I really need time alone. I’m recharged in quiet and solitude, especially when surrounded by nature. I cannot focus on what I need if I am always around someone else because I become too distracted focusing on the other person and their needs.

Also, I need to process through thoughts and emotions. I need my husband’s attentive ears and eyes a couple nights per week to help me talk through my day or emotions. Again, Lord bless him.

How do you feel most loved?

I feel loved when I am invested in and appreciated. I feel loved when I am recognized more for who I am and not necessarily for what I do. Acts of services will do it for me too. You clean my house, DING, you’ve won the Lindsey Lottery!

What does self-care look like for someone who is so OTHERS focused? Is self-care encouraged by anyone in your life?

Self-care to me is rest and solitude. Not just physical rest, but emotional and spiritual rest as well. Mark 12:31 says, “Love your neighbor as yourself”. I have found that I love others so much better when I take the time to take care of myself. I now get up early in the morning to start my day in a quiet living room with a good cup of coffee and my Bible with my husband sitting next to me. This allows be to be filled first with God’s word, and then I am able to pour into others during the day. Another form of self-care for me is simply staying home. Our society often glorifies being busy, but the busy and noise is overstimulating to me. I want a good home cooked meal, intentional time around the table, and a slower evening full of play, laughter, and fresh baked cookies.

Share a memory of us together as kids

Chelsi and I were best buddies in elementary school, middle school, and early high school until we had different friend groups through athletics and such, but I still consider her a dear friend with many memories. She loved to try to teach this lanky, uncoordinated school-aged girl how to do gymnastic tricks on the monkey bars. I would say a highlight of mine with Chels would be one of her birthday parties at the middle school. Her dad was a principal, so we got to run around the school and gym at night playing tag and hide and go seek.

About Lindsey

Lindsey is a 2 on the Enneagram. She grew up in McPherson, Kansas and now resides in a small town near Wichita. She works as a Family Nurse Practitioner 3 days per week, and on the other days you will find her spending time with the people she loves. She is a coach’s wife, and has been married to her husband for 9 years. She has two small children who she loves to bake with, snuggle, read to, take outdoors, and tickle just to hear their laugh and see their smiles. She enjoys time with her family, the outdoors, decorating her home, reading, going on play dates with friends, church activities and pumpkin spice lattes. :)

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