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  • Writer's pictureChelsi Myer

The Weight of Waiting

Four years ago, my husband and I brainstormed titles to a book we might write. The Weight of Waiting was my title idea - in the midst of infertility and awaiting our foster care license approval, the weight was crushing me. A new wait weighs on my soul lately - adoption.

Patience's Fruit

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit. We are commanded to have patience, seek the Lord, and lean not on your own understanding. Hard stop, but wait! I am a Millennial, I get what I want, and I get it now, like the bratty Veruca Salt on Willy Wonka (whiny and demanding). Never in my wildest imagination did I believe infertility would affect us. We'd been TTC (trying to conceive) for seven months when it first occurred to me that something might be wrong. Eleven months later, God laid a clear path for us to pursue our foster care license. Our focus moved from TTC to an empty room with one full-sized bed and the crib my father hand-crafted 28 years prior. For several months, we waited again. This time unsure of what age and gender the children would be who would lay their heads in the empty bedroom. Along this journey, we still have the hope that we'll conceive and have a biological child, but here we are 5.5 years later.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Galatians 5:22-26

Another Wait : Adoption

The length of this season of waiting is creeping up on 40 months. Yes, I understand that a season of waiting does not typically sound like the age of a toddler. However, I see my niece and nephew who were born soon after Serenity and Melody moved in with us. Their short lives give me a picture of our wait. Their toddlerhood is a snapshot of our patience-filled season. I continually remind myself with God's Word, that He is good, His plan is faithful, and leaning on my own understanding returns as disappointment, unlike His Word. God's Word never returns void.

But it is easier for heaven and earth to pass away than for one dot of the Law to become void. Luke 16:17

The timeline below shows our daughters' long wait to adoption. I still recall the first week the girls moved in, Serenity had asked me nonchalantly if we would adopt them. I was taken aback. She was only seven, but knew enough about foster care to know that adoption was an option.

March 2014 - girls entered the foster care system, moved from home to home until

November 2015 - girls moved in with us

October 2016 - parental relinquishment

November 2016 - adoption packet received, final parental visit, moved to new town, new school, new church, new home

April 2017 - adoption packet completed and submitted

August 2017 - home study completed

November 2017 - best interest staffing (BIS) meeting

December 2017 - girls removed due to false report, investigation followed

December 2017 - girls returned two weeks later

April 2018 - investigation finally closed, findings unsubstantiated

June 2018 - adoption packet with up-to-date information re-submitted

September 2018 - second best interest staffing (BIS)

October 2018 - officially chosen as adoptive resource

October 2018 - file read

January 2019 - adoption subsidy meeting

February 2019 - waiting on DCF to complete our file, currently a week past due their 30-day deadline

March 2019 - expected adoption finalization

March 6th will be the five-year anniversary of the girls entering the Kansas Foster Care System. I think we can do better, don't you?

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